Category: PENSION

Why I Hate – Episode 5: Benefit Improvements

HOOPP recently released their 2022 Annual Report. On their website, they list numerous positives and benefits that the pension plan offers. What was also noted was that these benefits have been given improvements as of late.

“Proudly serving…since 1960!”, “Enhancing retirement security…”, “Successful investment approach”, “Consistently healthy funded status”.. It’s all Sunshine and Lollipops! Then you get to bottom of the page where they drop the transparency bomb of their total investment return for 2022; in small print no less.

-8.60%!!!!

Ohhhh boy… While it is highlighted, HOOPP doesn’t specifically talk about this significant loss of assets. And even though it looks bad, it’s not nearly so dire as the benchmark that they compare themselves too, having lost -13.21%! HOOPP then clarifies that the difference of these two numbers creates a “value-added” return of +4.61%!!! A positive number is a positive number, even if the overall is negative; that makes sense, right?

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Why I Hate Pensions – Episode 4: The Balrog

Image from Balrog | Non-alien Creatures Wiki | Fandom

“…Demons with whips of chain and claws of steel….shrouded in fire, darkness and shadow…”

“This is a foe beyond any of you” -Gandalf

Would I be so bold as to equate the HOOPP pension with one of the most monstrous horrors of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings? Should I go that far? Is it really that bad? Hmmm… So many rhetorical questions, about to be given concrete answers! Perhaps in matters such as this, the question is not “if” you find something of a Balrog caliber, but “when”… So… The answer to these questions is yes. The deeper we dig, the more we’ll find. And in this episode, we’re going to unearth the buried; quantify the un-quantifiable! And Uncover hidden secrets! Read on if you dare!

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Why I Hate Pensions: Episode 3 – Sketchy Descriptions

Pensions are billion dollar businesses. HOOPP for example, is worth ~$114 billion (as of Dec 2021), up from 104 billion in 2020; that’s about an 11.28% gain. But how much of that 10 billion increase do you think that the members of the pension actually benefit from? Was it the full amount? Or perhaps only a fraction of that? And if so, where did the rest go? And more interestingly, how is HOOPP increasing in net value when more pension dollars are being paid out each year than are being contributed? Sounds sketchy to me…

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Why I Hate Pensions: Episode 2 – Digging Deeper

Anyone who knows a little bit about investing and related strategies knows that it’s very beneficial to have a diversified portfolio. This helps reduce risk while maximizing long term returns. Anything from various combinations of stocks, bonds, real estate, to cash holdings, etc. The point is to not have all your eggs in one basket, lest the basket breaks and all your eggs get cracked.

The same could be said of pension plans. But how do you know what those plans are investing in? It’s never in their news letter. It’s not directly on their main website pages. You have to dig a little, and even then, it’s somewhat murky.

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Why I Hate Pensions: Episode 1 – The Beginning

Yeeepp. That’s where we’re headed…

Right now, if you could, would you choose to have $1,000,000 in your bank account that you could access as soon as you retire, to spend as you see fit? Or would you rather have that money in equal payments over the course of 30 year period? Well, being part of a pension doesn’t give you a choice in the matter. Or does it?

I have questions. And the answers I’m looking for aren’t going to be pretty. So come along with me for the ride! We’re going to investigate all the reasons as to why I hate pensions! Because where we’re going, we don’t need roads! We’ll need a shovel. That’s right, a shovel! Because we’re going to do a whole lot of digging, through heaps of shite!

We’re about to go down a rabbit hole of unknown depths… Will we find strange and bizarre things? … Perhaps rabbits.. Maybe chipmunks… Possibly coyotes… Maybe even a hippopotamus or two if we get deep enough… and if we dig too deep… A Balrog even? Do you have any idea what a Balrog is? It’s quite frightening, that’s what!

But at the very least, we’ll hopefully discover truth…

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Pension Wars: Teachers vs Healthcare

2021 Edition

Ask anyone in Ontario. What is the best pension plan out there? The answer I’ve most often come across is the Teachers’ pension! Not only is it widely touted (perhaps not by Teachers themselves) that they are paid well, but that they also seem to have the best pension plan in existence.

If you ask the same question of healthcare workers, they may also name the Teachers. But healthcare in much of the province has their own solid pension which many also rave about.

Do Ontario Teachers really have the best pension? Or do healthcare workers have the best? And what exactly does it mean to have “the best” pension? Are there better ones out there? And can we figure out all of this without the topic ending up dryer than sand-paper in the desert? And will we run into any cactuses along the way? And will I ever stop making really terrible desert jokes? Let’s find out!

Welcome to Pension Wars!

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